:: COFFEE TALK ::

discuss amongst ya-selves……

:: THE BACHELOR ::

Alright. I’m just going to come out and say it.

The joy is gone and now it’s just boring and I’m over it.

I fast forwarded through half of this show. Which I usually never do.

The Corinne show had been super enjoyable….. until now.

We kick off back where we left, with Taylor “Mental Health Counselor” (slash Bikini Model as Us Weekly revealed) and Corinne “Pretend Business Lady with Nanny” going at it.

Does Taylor not realize that by engaging in all of this with Corinne she is making herself look just as stupid?

If you didn’t know…. Taylor did her thesis on “emotional intelligence” and they are her two favorite words to say and she will say them over. and over. and over.

So emotional intelligence was clearly the drinking game of the night and we all would have been hospitalized had we played.

They leave Wisconsin and head to New Orleans.

I really did love Corinne ordering all the room service and eating all of the food.

If I was trapped in a hotel room with the person I didnt like while the rest of the girls were out on the group date, I feel like I would do the same thing!
And who doesn’t love complimentary room service!?

I meannnnn it seemed like an awfully emotionally intelligent thing to do to me.

Her being the villain and eating all that food was very reminiscent of Chad and the meat…..

Also very “Chad”, is that the villain always has to go on the two on one with the person they can’t stand

Olivia was on the island two-on-one… left standing in the rain.

Chad and little Faarquad from Shrek were in the woods…..

Taylor and Corinne are in the middle of the Bayou…..

This double date takes the cake for being so freaking creepy.

In the middle of the alligators on a swamp and the woods and with witchcraft ceremonies at night and did I mention alligators and a swamp? UGH.

They meet with a psychic, talk crap about each other, Corinne gets a Voo Doo doll and doesn’t even put it down when Nick is giving her the rose.

Taylor just can’t get over how Nick could choose someone who doesn’t understand emotional intelligence.
drink!

Um. Taylor, sweetie. Nick doesn’t care.

He just wants to bone someone and be on television as long as possible because he has no job and he is 36 and still trying to ride the Bachelor-7-minute-wave.

Taylor on Nick + Corinne :”It’s a relationship built off of whipped cream and lies.”

YES. Now you are starting to understand Taylor!

Wait…. no. No, she doesn’t. Because now shes “not leaving until she gets to tell Nick who she really is”.

Oh Lord…. I think you should get some mental health counseling of your own after this, because you are either crazy yourself or you’ve been brainwashed by all of these producers.

But really. This episode could NOT have been more boring.

:: Miss Universe Pageant ::

I love a good beauty pageant.

Flo-Rida opened the show with 5 rap songs about dropping it low and smacking that ass.

a little “Apple Bottom Jeans, Boots with the Fur” mixed in…..

This made no sense to me and was hilarious. He was great, it just seemed…… odd? inappropriate?

The answers to many of the questions were this years version of “like, Iran, such as….”

Steve Harvey made the best facial expressions ever listening to them all NOT answer the question they were asked.

I didn’t enjoy the pageant as much as I thought, because I felt it was 3 hours of whole lot of nothing. But Steve Harvey was great.

:: VANDERPUMP RULES ::

James clearly gets his unfavorable behavior from his mother.

We already knew she was a drinker and feeds James’ belief that everyone is just “jealous”, but now she is making horrible comments at the drop of a hat (“well her karma is she’ll be barren”)
She should go join the Katie-clique, she’d fit right in with the mean girls.

James is “performing” at this bar/club and everyone goes.

Jax goes? Everyone that hates him goes?

Then we see KRISTIN and her BOYFRIEND walking in?

Oh, I see. It’s to watch everyone confront James and his girlfriend about him cheating.

but wait….. before we get to that…. it is BROAD DAYLIGHT outside of this club.

what time is this!?!? Truly. It looks like 11-2 peak sun hours when they open the doors to this pitch black nightclub. It’s probably a Monday afternoon.

…. but back to the point,

Everyone is there to watch James and his girlfriend be confronted by the two girls he had been cheating with.

his girlfriend sure is pretty….. but every time she opens her mouth I think there is less and less going on up there.
and by less and less, I mean none.
plus her VOICE! my GAWD!

Highlight of the night is one of the Sur-hook-ups saying to James girlfriend:

“Isn’t it a quality of Miss California to be like, feminism?”

direct quote. to be feminism.

:: BEVERLY HILLS ::

Be still my beating heart.

Am I liking Dorit? This entire episode?

We begin at ~~Rinna’s~~ Harry’s BBQ… he does it all!.

Eden arrives and wastes no time jumping into the “I know all about the Richards fam and their future despite speaking to them for 5 seconds” chat.

Dorit is doing the right thing and telling Eden it’s not nice to talk behind others backs,
and that she should just confront Kyle about it.

AND she is making a proper judgement call on Eden being coo-coo.

AND dare I say this is also the best she has ever looked….
so cute in those white jeans, chambray top, and hair down and wavy.

WHO AM I????

AM I A DORIT LOVER??

DID SOMEONE SPIKE MY TEA???

Eden goes straight to confronting Kyle about Kim while everyone is sitting nicely together in the grass enjoying the BBQ.

everyone runs to leave as fast as they can.

Rinna literally runs in her heels which I loved.

Camille mumbles something about a drink and does it as quickly and lady like as she can.

Erika has a full drink and is like “Yeah Camille I’m going to go with you…. I have a drink…. but…. wait for me”

For someone who acts like she reads people so well, Eden sure can’t read a facial expression to save her life.

And then right when Kyle is about to pull her (gorgeous) hair out, Eden hugs her for 9 hours. I loved the replay of this and Kyle talking about her crazy eye contact and pulling people in and holding them for way. too. long.

editors note : I really want to know what Eden’s behavior and personality was when she drank?????

Cut to Dorit working out at her and PK’s (to be read in the obnoxious PK voice, because I gotta say something here or it’s just not right) house.

Dorit is working out with no make-up! Like a normal person! I mean, none of them do that!?!

And looking gorgeous of course.

Okay wait…. if this was the first episode I saw of her I would really like her

Perhaps I have judged too soon….

I’m sure her and PK will be back to their usual selves with 7 Boy George appearances next week…..

Okay I think I know where all of this Dorit-love is coming from…. the focus has switched to Eden.

We go to the mansion that Mauricio and THE AGENCY showed us last week for a party. Because why have the annual white party at their house when they can have a completely different theme related to a house being sold by THE AGENCY and plug THE AGENCY?

Who goes right in for the kill? EDEN.

I meannnnn. Kyle’s face when she walks straight up to her and her sister at HER PARTY and kneels down with the LONGEST and MOST DRAMATIC PAUSE EVER was perfection.

She is just too much. and that is the understatement of the century.

I would have been like “let me just stop you right there. not now. and hopefully not ever? mmmmk thanks.”

BACK. ~~THE EFF.~~ OFF.

I listened to Eden on Kate Casey’s podcast and she is just SO intense.

We get it- you are deep and you go deep.

But that is not how you act with strangers!

It was painful listening to her on this podcast, just as you would expect.

:: Bethenny and Jason ::

okay WOOOOOAHHH.

The 97 year divorce battle between Bethenny and Jason finally came to an end in 2016.

But how silly of me to think that could mean the end of it!

He apparently came and confronted her at school and then again on her date and there is a new restraining order and he has been harassing her and other things?

read the whole article here.

I feel so torn in everything regarding Jason because I loved him and I feel like theres no way he would behave that way unless she was being absolutely insane to him (and keeping the daughter away, which I think she would-and does-do. She used to act like his parents were the devil when they were still married and try to keep them away).

HOWEVER….. he’s really looking like a crazy person right now and now I’m thinking…..maybe he isnt who he seemed? I don’t even know what I’m thinking!

…. what are your thoughts? discuss…..

:: Heather Dubrow not returning to OC ::

As much as Ms. Manners shaking the finger at everyone would annoy me, and last season especially it was NEVER ENDING she drove me nuts, but I can’t believe Heather is walking away from the show!

And like a reader commented – BEFORE WE GET TO SEE DAMN CHATEAU DUBROW!

If you are anything like me you have been clinging to the hope of seeing that damn house completed for 2 (3???) seasons now. WE MUST SEE IT.

She needs to change her YouTube Heather’s Closet into a full blown house reveal, or else I will lose ma damn mind.

I need to see the “Press for Champagne” button in her shampoo room! I MUST!

I NEED TO SEE THE HEXAGONAL ICE COMING OUT OF THE ICE MAKER.

I NEED SOME HEXAGONAL ICE IN MY LIFE.

:: OPRAH ON 60 MINUTES ::

It was just announced that Oprah will be a Special Contributor for 60 Minutes.

It’s not that I think it’s bad, it just will be surprising to see her on 60 Minutes?
Kip loves 60 minutes so I can’t wait for her to be on and him be like “wait a minute…why do I know her? is that Barbara Walters? just kidding…. I think he actually knows Oprah. I think?

I can picture her being in the intro where they all say their name…..

“I’m Lesley Stahl”

“I’m Steve Kroft”

“I’m Lara Logan”

“I’m Oprah Winfrey (I LOVE BREAD Y’ALL!)”

thoughts? discuss amongst ya-selves……

EDITORS NOTE :

as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.

#hypocrite #sorryimnotsorry

I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn’t do that day and likely won’t do the next day either. or the day after that.