DISCUSS AMONGST YA-SELVES……

It was kind of a slow week this week before all of the shows premiere next week!
or maybe I just have my life back after months of endless Bachelor/ette/in Paradise garbage….. 

:: RHOC ::

We pick up at Tamra’s hideously tacky themed party, where Kelly has just screamed pussy, little bitch, nerd, and who knows what else at Emily’s husband Shane, and Emily then screams “I’ll kill you” at Kelly.  Yowza.
Kelly also then tells Emily to “hit her.”

But Kelly is thrilled that she got an insane reaction out of her opponent so that all of her bad behavior can be completely ignored and she can focus on  “woahhh girl is crazy!”.  I mean…. Kelly.  Come on.  We all know that you are the truly insane one in the group.  You are either saying 97 puns to try to be funny or screaming insults at people.

Tamra somehow missed the entire thing, and you know that pot stirring queen is gonna be PESSED (pissed to be read in Tamra’s voice as PESSED)

Kelly decides she hasn’t stirred up enough sheyite with her “little bitch” comments that elicited death threats, she then wants to cause more drama.  She says the the woman Michael is dating a girl that dated Steve Lodge before Vicki and that he is just dating her for money.

Is there really NO one else to date in the OC except Housewives exes?! Why are they all dating the same people and friends!?

I feel badly for Gina going through the divorce.  HOWEVER.  We haven’t seen so much as a *photo* of this guy.  How on earth do you sign up for Real Housewives and make it where even your family photos aren’t shown even when someone is on film holding the picture and saying how handsome he is?! WHAT?!
For the record… her husband/soon to be ex husband is attractive :

Kelly and Emily meet for coffee to squash the “your husbands a little bitch” and “I will kill you” argument and do so in record time.  They are giggling and seem like they couldn’t care less.  Huh…..that’s strange…. but okay……

Tamra, who loves to stir the pot with the best of them, was furious to have missed the argument at her house.  So she tries to make up for it by immediately repeating to Vicki that Kelly Dodd said Steve is only with her for her money.  Then she can’t wait to have Gina “spit it out” that she is divorcing Matt.  And then same meal Tamra’s like “Vicki doesn’t love (Steve)…..”

Shannon makes me crazy how defensive she gets about EVERYTHING, especially when a new girl is saying it.  I think Gina is being ridiculous by bringing up the Emily + Kelly fight again when they have already squashed it, and to say that Shannon

I almost forgot: Shannon went on her first date in 20 years.  I thought he was cute? But unfortunately he was a crazy cat guy that talked at length about how much he cried when he marriage fell apart.  Fun first date!

:: Steve Lodge :: 
Everyone acts like Steve Lodge seems like a nice normal guy, but I’m not buying it.  Ever since I saw him just following her around at every appearance or work function or trip to the damn grocery store I knew he was a definite loser up to no good.  Just because someone isn’t faking cancer doesn’t mean they’re a good guy.
On top of being Vicki’s personal Pomeranian lap dog, which to me is bad enough, I don’t think you talk to Page Six and have no idea what you are doing?  You are on a reality show dating a woman who never stops talking about being the OG Housewife.
But I suppose all of that could be ignored……. until…..
YOU JOIN CAMEO AND CHARGE $30 FOR PEOPLE TO GET A MESSAGE FROM YOU.  Like you are some kind of Bravolebrity that people want to hear from!?
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?

For those of you who don’tknow what Cameo is, it is a service where you can purchase recordings from celebrities and reality stars for a certain price.  They’ll record an iPhone video for you or whoever you want wishing someone a happy birthday or saying whatever you ask in a message to them.
I heard about this on Amy Phillips radio show on Sirius.
Pathetic!
And he is wearing AN AFFLICTION shirt in his little video.  I CAN’T!

and he joined Cameo in OCTOBER 2017!?!?
Steve and Vicki can go live happily ever after for all I care I just want them both OFF my television screen.  OC has been garbage for years now!

:: RHOD :: 
I have only seen the first half of this weeks Dallas, but yikes.
D’Andra and LeeAnne’s friendship is coming to a crashing halt, and I’m wondering if by the end of the season (or at least the reunion) they will even be on speaking terms.
I thought it was absurd of D’Andra to be going nuts on her “best friend” about when she was going to get married when they were in Beaver Creek – who cares!? Why would you be berating your best friend about it? They’ve been together 9 years, it’s not like she is 25 and wanting to have kids with him, so who cares if they just stay engaged for a long time? Also, you don’t berate your BFF on the show?

LeeAnne and D’Andra meet for coffee and pie and D’Andra opens up about her financial woes if she separates her company for under her mother’s, and all of the problems that will come with it.  LeeAnne gives some tough love – which I kind of agree with.  Except that she is lazy – that is a bunch of BS.  Having a housekeeper doesn’t make her lazy.

But enough already – either do it or don’t – leave your moms company or keep working there.  But yeah, clearly if you want to do it you are going to have to start completely over.  You may think your mom’s a monster for controlling you with the business and money, but clearly Dee ain’t changing her tune.  It’s hard to decipher emotions through that crazy face lift and 27 layers of make up, but I don’t think she gives a rats ass what you do and isn’t going to change her mind.

LeeAnne and Rich meet with a wedding planner and oh. my. gawd.  I used to watch all these wedding shows and there was one in particular called “Whose Wedding is it Anyway” featuring wedding planners and the different weddings they would plan and he was on it every week.

WOW has time notbeen good to him. That toupee!?  I CAN’T! And it’s like a bad spray tan that he shaved over because his skin is like a pasty white appearing through a layer of tan or way too dark make up. This picture does not do it justice…… 

but I digress……. 
Rich seems as thrilled about this wedding as he did the week before.
And I’m sorry, 500 to 1,000 wedding guests?! IS SHE INSANE?! There is no possible way she actually knows 1000 people to invite to a wedding.  Sometimes she’s so obviously full of hot air it’s amazing.

Then LeeAnne opens some serious floodgates this week with her commentary around town about D’Andra’s personal finances.
D’Andra went to Cary’s (parents) house and Cary spilled the beans that LeeAnne is telling people that she has $200 in her bank account.  Also, VERY important sidenote.  D’Andra looked like a pasty pale ghost version of herself in this scene – how much make up are these women wearing? They kept cutting to her confessionals where she is wearing 97 layers of dark tan contouring and then back to her as white as a tee shirt.
but I digress……

D’Andra is PEESED.
But it slowly starts to sound like maybe she really is in some financial distress….. because only keeping $200 in the shopping account so that you don’t spent money shopping is one thing, but putting a bunch of purchases on the company credit card is another.   And you don’t get this emotional over things that aren’t true….. do you?!

The best line of the night was Kameron hearing D’Andra confront LeeAnne with the group and upon hearing about the $200 saying “Is that her Starbucks account?”  Especially with Kameron’s voice and delivery, I was dying laughing.

Two other comments.
I know commentary of children of housewives is probably a no-no, but I’ll keep it brief.  Her two girls are hellions.

I also loved seeing Stephanie be so sweet at the work meeting for their charitable initiative, and then laughed so hard at her asking for one example of ever being a leader.

:: Jessica Simpson Pregnant :: 
She revealed this week that she is expecting baby #3, a girl.

I still have only seen the first episode of Ashlee + Evan but they were talking about having another baby too, so maybe the sisters will be pregnant together?!

:: Former Bravo TV Person Sexually Assualting Women ::
Not my usual Coffee Talk banter, but for some reason I don’t remember watching this Bravo show and this story is so creepy about this doctor and his girlfriend drugging and raping/assaulting women.

He was on the show “Online Dating Rituals of the American Male.”

:: Joe the Grocer ::
Dancing with the Stars is premiering next week, and Joe the Grocer will be dancing. The way that he is terrified of even laying a hand on his partners back proves he will be one of the worst contestants ever.

:: Jackhole of the Week :: 
There is only ONE more week of Big Brother!
I get so sad when it ends and we have to wait until next summer.

Although….. now with all of the Julie Chen/CBS/Les stuff…. I don’t think the Chen Bot will be coming back?! So does that mean BB will be over?! I can’t imagine anyone else hosting it – especially after 20 seasons – than her!

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:: Editors Note ::
As always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors
whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during Coffee Talk on a weekly basis.
#HYPOCRITE   #SORRYIMNOTSORRY
I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn’t do that day, and likely won’t do the next day either.  Or the day after that.

images from : bravo, giphy, us weekly, people, enews