DISCUSS AMONGST YA-SELVES……
:: THE BACHELOR ::
It was only two hours this week (hallelujah) with not a single viewing party
or bachelor-reject in sight (pah-reach). Thank you Lord.
I cannot believe that MEGAN MULLALLY is doing this. Bless Karen Walker. Bless her. These 23 year olds have NO IDEA who she is and I’m offended that they are even PRETENDING to have a love for Will & Grace. Karen would spit on these minions.
Demi kicks off her “season villian” status by saying the older red head is SO BRAVE for admitting she’s in her early thirties. I can’t. But more than that…… her voice. Ugh. And even MORE than that…..her laugh?? I really can’t. Can’t Shan’t Wan’t Won’t. What man is honestly going to put up with that!?!? Because I would lose my mind. I could never. And I feel like I can say that because I have a complete man voice and man laugh.
The gorgeous 23 year old Red Dress model Hannah G talks about being invisible and I’m like YAWWWWWNN. Don’t be the insanely gorgeous girl doing that; even if it’s true, we don’t want to hear. We don’t feel bad. Look at you.
Alabama Beauty Queen Hannah gets the first one on one date for her birthday. Now she’ll be TWENTY FOUR. Woah.
We learn from her pageant nemesis, Miss North Carolina, that they used to be friends and even roommates at Miss USA and then when Miss North Carolina placed she was PESSED (according to NC). She says the facade will crumble quickly with Colton. Alabama basically says the same thing about NC.
I feel like we were duped to think that Alabama was the “good” one and and NC was the “bad” one week one, but now I feel the roles are reversing. Because Alabama looks to have a few screws loose. One of them being that she is INCAPABLE of forming an actual sentence.
And in the previews it looks like she tries to turn Colton against North Carolina…. can’t wait….
I’m feeling this season so far……
I feel like I’m very attracted to Colton…. is this my pregnancy hormones?
Or finally having someone that isn’t that vile Nick Viall on my screen?
Colton is looking very, very hot and his kissing was MUCH better this week than the horror show I saw behind my covered eyes week one.
HOWEVER.
As we arrive at the group date to Camp Crop Top, where being 23 and packing only crop tops for your “daytime” ensembles is a requirement, Colton’s ensemble is the real horror.
Why on EARTH is he wearing these long T shirt dresses?!
You were so close Colton…… so close…. please wear a normal t-shirt for the love of gawd.
Billy Eichner following up Meghan Mullally is just HEAVEN.
PREACH Billy. Goldbergs is the greatest show on earth, especially compared to this garbage. Love his commentary to Colton with things like “maybe you’re gay??” and “it’s like Colton trying to find a vagina.”
I miss Billy on the Street. Is he still doing that?
I need to start watching Friends from College on Netflix – his new show – I heard it’s AH-mazing.
This chick, one of the “old” ones, needs to realize that she signed up for THE BACHELOR.
The immature nonsense is part of the show.
If you’re too mature for this, go home!
:: VANDERPUMP RULES ::
The last two weeks have been pretty meh, but I’m always into it.
I CANNOT with Scheana and Robby Hayes from the Bachelor. I had forgotten about seeing this on the internet months ago or whenever it was happening in real time. These two deserve each other – they are both the most narcissistic shallow people on the face of the planet.
Why do I have a soft spot for James this season?! Truly, what is wrong with me!? But even Lala, who talks so much sheyite, becomes putty with him when she realizes how sad he is and how much he is supporting his entire dysfunctional family.
Oh, and Stassi’s mother is insane. Which is no surprise really.
:: LILO BEACH HOUSE ::
OK. This show is the epitome of trash and garbage yet I gotta keep watching. And it’s pretty much everything I expected without even knowing it. Lindsay is such a shey*te show and she has done an excellent job of surrounding herself with people at the same level or above, so that she seems as though she has her sheyite together. She is great at making situations that aren’t really much of anything sound and seem like such important dramatic issues.
That raspy smoker’s voice really knows how to bring out the urgency and importance of bottle service for these RIDICULOUS “VIP’S”. These people are insane.
And Brent is a complete and utter ass. It cracks me up when complete douche bags like him think they are hottest thing on the face of the planet and that every woman must want them.
But seriously…. I just want more Lindsay. And her partner Panos.
I could do without the rest of these people.
OH! And her talking about how her beach club is a place for families and kids?! Ha!
:: RHOBH::
Have you seen the previews for RHOBH yet?
Because this season looks GOOOOOOOOD.
And somehow Dorit’s implants continue to boggle my mind….
I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her intro outfit that I saw on instagram. See it here.
:: RHONJ ::
I keep saying it, but NJ is great this season.
Even when we are forced to see horrid things like Melania and her “singing career”. Wow. Wowowowow. I draw the line at talking about children of these horrible women, so I will just keep my mouth shut, but WOW.
And the “you probably know me from TV” line….. I can’t.
But back to the adults…. Danielle in this ensemble with crimped hair and some extreme outfit for Melanias “performance” is hilarious.
The drama between Marge and Jennifer continues, with Marge goes nuts when Jennifer hits on her moms infidelities and retaliates with her husband sleeping in the pool house. Yikes. I really like Margaret but she really cuts deep when push comes to shove and just goes right for it!
All for it and can’t wait for the Cabo trip.
:: Project Runway All Stars ::
This season is ALL winners and it is SO GOOD.
And the gorgeous Georgina Chapman is back looking even more stunning than ever, and I’m trying to figure out if this was filmed before or after the Harvey Weinstein stuff? She is seriously so beautiful it’s insane.
:: Celebrity BB ::
Celeb BB starts next month!
Celebrity BB is always mediocre compared to what regular BB is, but I am SO excited.
Check out the full cast here.
:: Mazel of the Week ::
The perfect 10 gymnastics floor routine.
I love me some gymnastics.
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:: Editors Note ::
As always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors
whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during Coffee Talk on a weekly basis.
#HYPOCRITE #SORRYIMNOTSORRY
I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn’t do that day, and likely won’t do the next day either. Or the day after that.
Oh my gawd…. I can’t freaking wait for Beverly Hills! I have a soft spot for LVP so I’m feeling this season is going to hard to watch in the best way!
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