:: Coffee Talk 3.26.20 ::

DISCUSS AMONGST YA-SELVES………

:: VANDERPUMP RULES ::
The wedding is finally over. HALLELUJAH. I will say it was beautiful. The flowers, the tent, etc…. Lovely.

The vows? Not so much. But what else would we expect from Jax Taylor and Brittany “I’m Gettin Murried” Cartwright. Although I wouldn’t personally hire a team from Hooter’s to greet guests, I am all for being greeted with platters of wings into an after party. It would help soften the blow of a CASH BAR at a wedding. I can’t.

Who is LVP’s stylist?! My god….. how many things can one combine into a single ensemble?! Long gloves, a flowing cape, a pearl embellished headband TOPPED by a giant wide brim hat?! Why are you wearing a hat on top of a headband?!

Ugh the new people this season. No thank you – to ALL of them. (Although I would love to know how to do that perfect top knot the blonde did this week at the pool party/funeral….. I know her name I just don’t even care to say it because WHO CARES.)
New manager guy: “She’s nice to my face and then talks behind my back…. I’m gonna 86’er from Tom Tom.” It seems they have the “I’m pushing 40 but still acting like I’m 16” personality that is required of everyone on this show down pat.

:: RHONJ ::
Ugh, Danielle. There is nothing I love more than “Housewife” (which she is not…. she ain’t holding whatever the heck they hold in Jersey) insisting she sit next to my-boyfriend-Andy-Cohen for hours on end or else she’s leaving…. only to -whattayaknow – go out and sit there on the very end ON A CHAIR they brought out. Not even on the sofa. ON A CHAIR.

Lived for it.
Now BYEEEEE enjoy your cooking show.
(which I just googled and haven’t watched the videos yet but she did indeed start a YouTube channel and has 4 videos up: 2 recipes of some sort and hair and make up tutorials. Can’t wait to use my quarantine time wisely and dive into that…..)

I lived even more for the epic back and forth between Danielle and Marge while Andy kept trying so hard to read the Agatha from Augusta’s question. I saved a clip in my highlights “TV Talk” on instagram but can’t find a clip of it on the internet. That was truly the highlight of Part 3 for me.

:: SOUTHERN CHARM ::
Katrhryn Dennis and T-Rav are both back in the tabloids with – shocker – not good news.
Kathryn’s ex is spilling some tea about her parenting. This ex is a senator (Joe? I thought the only politician she dated was Thomas…apparently not….)
And Thomas…. dun dun dun…. is expecting ANOTHER child with a Nurse – NOT TrASHLEY. A 38 year old mother of two and she is due in June. Oy.
I have so much commentary but in the end it’s just sad for their two kids because I have NO WORDS for both of them.

:: FAMILY KARMA ::
There’s a new show on Bravo following Indian families living in Miami and I am so-so on it but there are some moments from the parents that I am ALL about.
I suggest diving right in…..

:: TOP CHEF ALL STARS ::
I love me some Top Chef.
So excited this is back, but I will miss my Project Runway.
and I mayyyyy have a crush on Tom….

:: KEEPING UP WITH THE KAR-TRASHIANS ::
Starts back tonight…..
I love to hate them (except Khloe, love Khloe) but I can’t look away.

:: RHOP TRAILER ::
The Potomac Trailer dropped today and DAYUM it looks good.

oh…. and incase you missed it……two other VERY important trailers

:: RHOBH TRAILER ::

:: RHONY TRAILER ::
hashtag I already miss Bethenny…..

also… Ramona is quarantining with Mario and Avery in Miami and is offering nonstop content on her instagram.

:: TIGER KING ::
Tiger King is the Netflix documentary that EVERYONE is talking about.
Kip and I listened to the Podcast (Joe Exotic) when we went to Kiawah but I am just not sure I can handle the documentary. I hate to be a quitter of anything TV related, especially when everyone and their mom is talking about it, but we watched the first episode last night and I CANNOT handle seeing things with animals. It’s just too much for me. I’ve been told it gets “better” after episode 1 but I’m going to have to pass. SORRY.

:: MAZEL OF THE WEEK ::
To Bravo, for giving us everything we need in these trying times.
Having newborn twins this time last year was made SO much easier
with all of the Housewives content airing at once.
THANK YOU ANDY!!!!
speaking of my-boyfriend-Andy……

:: JACKHOLE OF THE WEEK ::
Obviously COVID 19, but especially
my-boyfriend-Andy-Cohen testing positive for COVID-19.

also, as a side note. Colton from The Bachelor has COVID-19 (prayers for safe recovery) BUT I will say that when there were no live audiences for things (Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, etc) those ASSES at The Bachelor of course had full packed audiences for the final episodes and then every Bachelor-Reject was galavanting about at Chris Harrison’s alcohol party the same week. UMMMMM yeah. Not surprised you caught something.

ALSO. Don’t even get me started on Hannah and Tyler during their “social isolation”.
I CAN’T.

I’m keeping it breezy as always around here but
thoughts and prayers for everyone to STAY HOME AND STAY HEALTHY.

I know I’m forgetting 9,000 things to talk about…..

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

:: Editors Note ::
As always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors
whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during Coffee Talk on a weekly basis.
#HYPOCRITE #SORRYIMNOTSORRY
my apologies for lack of Coffee Talk. My little twin loves take after their mother and if the television is on their eyes are LOCKED and IN LOVE and want nothing else (DAMMIT!)
I’m also too tired to proofread my own nonsense,
so if it reads as though Teresa Giudice wrote it…….sorry not sorry.