1️⃣ Grab any bottle of wine. You can serve the cheap stuff because no one is in attendance to judge you. Pick your favorite glass or no glass at all. Again, no one around and one less glass to wash after you just spent 7 hours cooking and washing the dishes all. damn. day.

2️⃣ Select your favorite artisanal cheese. If you panic anytime you’re in the grocery store and have nothing fresh on hand, no worries. Grab one of your 7 bags of Whisps cheese crackers, rip open the top and just shove your hand in there and enjoy. Or put it on a wooden board and call it a charcuterie if you’re feeling fancy.

3️⃣ Take off whatever sweatpants or stretchy leggings have been so cruelly restricting you all day and put on extremely oversized jammies and a robe. No matching sets or things your partner would say you look pretty in. This a pandemic.  No time for that nonsense.

4️⃣ Slap on a face mask that is slightly easier to breathe in than the PPE kind, as long as the mouth part stays in place. Pro tip: cut slits in the mouth part of the mask to make it easier to plow through a bag of cheese crackers and guzzle wine.

5️⃣ Lay in bed and watch trash TV and get crumbs everywhere because no one is coming over to see the tornado your house has become anyway. CHEERS!

Let me know what other hosting + entertaining tips I can help you with! As the only person who attends my parties, I’d say they’re a roaring success!