discuss amongst ya-selves……… 

first….. the ONLY thing you need watch …..

:: TED LASSO ::
We need to start by talking about the most important show you
NEED MUST HAVE TO ABSOLUTELY WATCH.
Ted Lasso.

I am going to make a bold statement: It is one of the best television shows I have ever seen in my entire life.  Like, top 3.  I can’t even think of anything better than it right now, so currently it’s at #1.

(message me your #1’s so I can debate this…..)

As someone who consumes more television than probably 99.9% of the population I consider myself an expert.
(and don’t tell me you don’t have time – you MAKE TIME for the things that are IMPORTANT to you……)
 Maybe not an expert with the best taste…. that part is debatable.
BUT, no matter what your typical genre is, you NEED TO WATCH TED LASSO.
My husband loved it and I loved it and we have NOTHING in common when it comes to television.

I laughed so hard.  I mayyyy have cried once or twice.  It is so heart warming and hilarious and EXACTLY what everyone needs in their life.
We did the free 7 Day Trial on Apple+ and watched half Friday night and half Saturday night and I am already planning to watch it again, and again, and again.
(It isn’t new but was new to me.  Everyone messaged me after I posted the Golden Globes nominees riffing Emily in Paris for being nominated {did I watch it? Yes.  Enjoy it? Sure, I watch anything.  Award winning? Heyl no.}  and told me I needed to watch Ted Lasso and they were CORRECT and it 100% deserves to be nominated for best show and NEEDS TO WIN).

WATCH IT.

:: RHOSLC ::
Salt Lake City is the #Blessing we all needed this year.

I have WAY more to say than this – always do – but had to get some
thoughts out there before the Part I of the reunion airs tonight…..

A very important Vegas side note :
these women flew SOUTHWEST to Vegas?! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

I still cannot believe Mary was cast as a “friend” and not a start Housewife.
this is why she was absent for so much filming. 

What on EARTH was the casting person/producer thinking when they heard “married to step grandfather” followed by “head of a church” and then was like “yeahh…… Friend Of…. but let’s make Lisa Barlow a main character.”  WHAT.

Nothing against Lisa… but I can’t even think of anything to write about her.   Which means she comes across as a lovely, kind, sane person which means I DO NOT NEED TO SEE YOU ON HOUSEWIVES.  Other shows, sure.  But this?!
GIMME MORE MARY M. COSBY.

I don’t even need full commentary from Mary – just scenes of her hoarding in her house and getting food delivered on a hideous tray and making her eyes/faces is fine by me.
But truly…. the scene in the finale when she entered the church for choir practice was PURE GOLD.

This woman is a terror.
I believe *every* rumor I have read about her and her church.

Even though I am incredibly disappointed with the lack of Mary the last several episodes, when I go to say my daily gratitude for the day I’ll list “The moments we got with Mary M Cosby” at the very top.

Jen Shah.  Wow. Wowowow.
Is Jen Shah the most unhinged out of all housewives past and present in all cities?! Possibly.
She has truly no self awareness.  And absolutely thinks that the “Shah Squad” – people on her payroll – are her friends.
The ONLY thing I can give her is the husband not showing up to her father’s funeral.  I mean…. I cannot even wrap my head around that.  At all.  Not even one tiny bit.  (even though I do love her husband).  There is not a single excuse for that and if that is where all of her anger comes from FINE but methinks it comes from plenty of other things too.

ALSO, how is this non-drinking religious man married to her?! How?!
Also….. and to each their own and however they feel most beautiful and blah blah blah
but truly…. why did she mess with that gorgeous face?!

WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO PEOPLE!?!?!?!
Do we need instagram to erase ALL filters so people can realize EVERYONE knows that no one naturally looks like that?!
(but maybe don’t because I really need the hazy ones that make me look well rested and hydrated….
but the crazy lips + nip/tuck ones you can totally do away with…..)

Similar to Lisa, Meredith didn’t bring a whole lot other than

but I still enjoyed seeing them on the show.  I really wish I could have Meredith’s monotone voice and icy demeanor come and take over me when needed.  I will say, seeing her marital stuff kick off right away in episode one was a real slow clapper for me.  Ballsy.
ALSO….. she seems to sit in bed at every opportunity – wether that is a bath robe or fully dressed in the ALWAYS WIDE DISCO LEG trouser  – and you know I’M HERE FOR IT (the robe…. not the disco leg trouser every time she leaves the house).

You know I’m obsessed STAN FOR LIFE with all things Heather.
well….. except for THAT EX.
Billy.
Ummmmmm.  That was a lot to take in.

How on EARTH was she married to this man?!
He has the personality of a piece of paper.
Slow. Clap. For. Heather. Moving. On. From. That.

Oh, and Whitney.  Love her – don’t have much to say except 1) you’re an idiot for the way you brought up the shey*te to Jen and 2) your dad’s hair leaves me with more questions than answers from Episode 1 to Finale night.

The finale was very lackluster EXCEPT for the scene with Mary in her church.
Again, I don’t ask for much, and that was PLENTY for me.
But, I am SO excited for tonight’s reunion. My-boyfriend-Andy-Cohen said it was the longest reunion they’ve ever filmed which means its gonna be gewwwd.

:: SUMMER HOUSE :: 

This season is going to be AMAZING.  Trapped in that house for 6 weeks without ever getting a break?! Normally I don’t like to see Covid realities on my shows but THIS is the way to do it.
The first 10 minutes were pure gold alone.  Lindsay’s timeline and list?!
And of course now they are broken up. 

:: BACHELOR ::
I miss Queen Victoria and seeing how many dresses she can style with that one ill fitting nude bra.

:: RH of DALLAS :: 
Tiffany is a lot.  All about rules. Get out of my house by 10:30 (I get it, but you’re on a reality show.). No fighting – and consequences for fighting too. (Ummm the show you are on is REAL HOUSEWIVES, have you ever seen it?!) And the booties talk to enter the home is a lot.
I get that it’s a no shoe household – totally fine – but leave a basket of slippers or something for them?! Toss some monogrammed slippers at em along with those aprons.
(again – ENJOY her for the show + much needed because these ladies don’t always do it for me)

The Cary + DeAndra stuff is. A. LOT.

:: SOUTHERN CHARM :: 
Could Craig have been more annihilated during the reunion?! Wow.
The Madison drama exploded from the reunion to every corner of the internet with the A. Rod rumors.  Do we believe them?! I know he’s historically a cheater, but really? Cheating on J.Lo? Madison is so pretty to look at but I am with Austen I do think inside she behaves like a monster.   I’m truly shocked those two lasted as long as they did (except I’m not… because look at her. And Austen is an idiot.)
PS : SOMEONE TEACH ME HOW TO MAKE A
GIF BECAUSE I CAN’T FIND A SINGLE ONE OF MADISON. 

But wow.  The way it went from Madison + Jay Cutler
IMMEDIATELY into something even BIGGER was astounding.

:: ARMIE HAMMER :: 
I mean…. I don’t even know what to write about all of this because it would take days – but EXCUSE ME?! WHAT?! WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!??!??!

I apologize for even putting a gif of him in here because I can’t even see his face anymore!

When this started it was “what a horrible rumor to start spreading” and now I’m like “WHAT IS NEXT?!”
Clearly there is truth here for it be going on this long with NO commentary.
Heather McDonald had his Aunt on her podcast and I listened – it’s definitely worth a listen to hear about the insane family history (which I completely forgot was the Arm & Hammer family… how on earth I could forget that ARMIE HAMMER is from ARM & HAMMER proves how my brain picks and chooses when it wants to work) but it isn’t really about Armie if you’re wanting the scoop.
If you’ve been living under a rock, just google “Armie Hammer latest news” and BUCKLE UP.

:: WENDY WILLIAMS // BRITNEY SPEARS ::
Both of these documentaries are on my list – I’ve heard great things about the Wendy biopic + documentary so might as well add that to my never ending list.

:: BLING EMPIRE ::
If you follow on instagram you probably saw me RAVE about this if you love trash TV like I do.
The first episode + first couple episodes were WONDERFUL……
then it just goes downhill and is a total snooze.
But highly recommend watching the first few.  I don’t quite understand how it started out so amazing and then fizzled into me thinking “do I even want to finish this?!”

aka DO NOT even get me started on Kevin……

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:: Editors Note ::
As always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors
whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during Coffee Talk on a weekly basis.
#HYPOCRITE   #SORRYIMNOTSORRY
my apologies for lack of weekly Coffee Talk like the good old days.
My little twin loves take after their mother and if the television is on their eyes are LOCKED and IN LOVE and want nothing else which leaves me little time for my beloved TV until late at night.
I’m also too tired to proofread my own nonsense,
so if this reads as though Teresa Giudice wrote it…….sorry not sorry. 

images from : bravo, giphy, us weekly, people, enews, reality tea, tenor