coffee talk Archives - Page 30 of 45

coffee talk, Lifestyle

:: COFFEE TALK ::

October 29, 2015

discuss amongst ya-selves……

:: HASHTAG I MISS DOROTA ::

just felt like it…….

K…… moving on……

:: NOW ::

um. I was watching TV last night (I don’t know why I need to even start a sentence with that…. obviously, what else would I be doing) and I saw a a commercial for NOW That’s What I call Music 56!!

FEEF-TY-SEE-EEKS.

Do these people know its 2015? We have 9,000 ways to listen to whatever song we want, whenever we want….. Going and buying a CD generally isn’t the way it’s done anymore, and I’m not knocking it, but my guess is the people that are buying CD’s aren’t people looking to listen to the song “I can’t feel my face” by The Weekend, oh my bad no E, The Weeknd.

:: hot guys gone cah-razy ::

I don’t know if you follow me on instagram, but like a year back I posted this gem that I read in my Us Weekly. because my jaw hit the floor when I read it.

I mean…….seriously.

why andrew keegan? You were EVERYTHING when we were tweens. my teen beat was a constant battle to win your love or JTT’s!!!

so, now he is expecting a baby and here is what he says.

“My beloved partner and I are excited to welcome a baby into our lives and our community,” the Party of Five alum and Full Circle Venice founder, 36, said in a statement to Us. “We look forward to embracing the sacred responsibility of parenthood as well as learning from this spirit.”

Keegan, who co-founded the spiritual center in Los Angeles, couldn’t be happier to become a dad.

“Our intention is to raise our child in a co-creative environment where truth and love are foremost,” his statement continued. “We welcome your thoughts and prayers for this incubating life.”

STOP. IT.

HASHTAG I WANT TO BE A FLY ON THE WALL AT THIS ‘FULL CIRLCE’ FOR A DAY.

also, arena’s daughters boyfriend/luke wheelers son on nashville is totally the 2015 version of andrew keegan (but not as cute as andrew keegan was)

am I right? or am I crazy?

AND I JUST GOOGLED TO FIND HIM AND GUESS WHAT HIS NAME IS?

GUESS?! (OR READ BELOW)

……………………..

KEEAN. like keegan with no G. whaaaat ? coincidence???

:: RHOC Reunion Part II ::

I mean, for how much has gone on, why do I feel like these reunions are still pretty crappy? This week was much better than last, but there was still a bunch of blah-de-blah thrown in there with only Vicki’s horrible dress displaying her OG of OC breasts to distract me.

Here comes Mr. Personality, Jim ‘Jimmy’ Edmonds.

my-boyfriend-andy-cohen introduces him with far more enthusiasm than any of the ladies. shocker.

um, Jim, perhaps if you are trying to show that you DO care for your wife even slightly, maybe sit a little closer to her or make eye contact or SOMETHING.

their dynamic on this reunion is just as painfully awkward, if not more, than it was all season. Meghan, in all of your googling and researching did you not find out that these reunions are where you try to shut-it-down and show people ~~how~~ ~~things really are~~ how you WISH everything came across on TV.

they play the recap (“package”) of jimmy’s words and actions as everyone embarrassingly watches in the little corner on the left side of the screen and it’s so much worse seeing all of it back to back to back.

cut to Jim……

jimmy sissy pants thinks “you get a portrayal of something that isn’t really you” when you’re on TV.

ohhhhh is that it?

what else could it be?

“I was tired and annoyed”

SERIOUSLY?

“I wasn’t ready for TV to catch everything.”

WHAT?

I don’t think I heard him say a single apology for how he treated or spoke to his wife, or even say anything remotely close.

but don’t worry y’all….. he has heather there to remind us all of THE TRUTH.

BECAUSE TV HAS BEEN LYING TO US. IT WAS ALL EDITING.

“jimmy’s the coolest guy ever”

OHHH!! thanks heather!!! thank goodness for you to clarify!!

I can’t put it into words (I mean I can but ~~I’m trying to be more positive~~ it’s just too many), but Jimmy bugs me like no other housewife-husband.

Well, other than Joe Guidice obvioiusly, because he takes the cake.

Jimmy : “would I do anything differently? probably be more aware of whats going on around me”

WTF? UGH YOU MAKE ME INSANE.

~~SORRY IM NOT SORRY.~~

my-boyfriend-andy-cohen directly asks Shannon what the viewers keep asking:

“don’t you think filming all this cheating/therapy stuff for the show is harmful for your children?”

she is like HELL TO THE NO I am “teaching them to fight for family and that family is most important”. okay…… I can say more power to you on that (aka I couldn’t disagree more they are little girls they should be in la-la-land and unaware of all of this but whatevs)

buutttttt can’t you choose to teach them to fight for family OFF camera?

I mean, I still like you, but you’ve really increased your crazy score each week.

then breana comes out and its just like RUH-ROH sheeite’s gonna hit the fan!

the stuff she says is going is so horrible + gross and vicki just sits there next to her??

side note : I believe all of it, do you?

the only thing worse than what Breanna is saying Brooks said and did is Drama-obsessed-Tamra salivating, like, truly, on the edge of her seat listening to all of it and adding in her one line commentary every five seconds because she is getting high off the drama. the only person more pathetic than Vicki is Tamra. she will NEVER change.

:: below deck ::

leon abandons ship (see what I did there?), so, naturally, rocky strips her clothes off and jumps into the ocean then swims to a neighboring boat because she realizes she has nowhere else to go……

I want to go on and on about this weeks episode (and every week).

Rocky could very well be certifiably insane, but I laugh SO hard at her antics (as does Kipper) on the show that I SO BADLY welcome her crazy any week. she is unbelievably nuts.

:: southern charm ::

when I think about, southern charm is truly one of the Bravo shows I miss the most when it isn’t on. I miss Shep….. I miss Catherine…. I miss Whitney’s Mom…. but especially Cameron.

She gave an interview and it gave me hope that there will be a Season 3.

And reminded me that Catherine + T-Rav are pregnant with baby dos and I just NEED the two of them back on the small screen to watch all this.

:: MAZEL ::

because now I’m sentimental about all my off-air Bravo shows and I just feel like it…..

god bless you janet.

as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.

#hypocrite #sorryimnotsorry

I write these posts late at night while simultaneously watching Bravo, taking snapchats of my snoring husband, and making to do lists of everything I was supposed to do and didn’t do that day and likely won’t do the next day either. or the day after that.

coffee talk, Lifestyle

:: COFFEE TALK ::

October 22, 2015

discuss amongst ya-selves…….

:: NEW EMOJIS ::

NEW EMOJIS. NEW EMOJIS. NEW EMOJIS!!!!!

MIDDLE FINGER!!!!

A TACO!!!!

CHAMPAGNE!!!!!

be still my beating heart.

the only thing I will EVER update my phone for!!!

but I still do NOT see a HASHTAG WHITE WINE EMOJI????

throw me (and ramona) a bone people.

:: DANCING WITH THE STARS ::

I’m not as in to this season as the last (if you can’t tell….. last year I was talking every week about which dance made me cry and going on and on and on)

Its getting better though……

The intro this week was back to what I love.

When all the pro’s do the big numbers together it is just AH-MAZING.

Paula Deen continues to make my jaw hit the floor with what comes out of her mouth. And not in a good way.

unrelated side note based on gif: I watched Bridesmaids for the first time in forever last weekend and died laughing; I forgot how hilarious kristin wiig and all of them were in that movie.

:: farrah abraham ::

you know that crazy ____ (what do you even say? 16 and pregnant cast member turned porno star turned plastic surgery fiend turned I don’t knoww what?)

THIS IS HER. whaaaaaaat?

I mean seriously good lord why do young people pay tons of money to look 25 years older??? I will never understand. well…. I guess the plastic surgery is the least of her mistakes but still….

:: REAL HOUSEWIVES OC REUNION ::

ok, first of all, it has to be said :

(whenever I say “it has to be said….” I think INSTANTLY of the scene from Stepmom where she tells of the high school boy…. anyone? bueller? crazy brain in overdrive over here?….. but I digress….)

It has to be said, that with every single one of these reunions, no matter which city/cast, are filled with NADA and complete BS for “Part One”. Like…. what a waste of time while you tease us with the good stuff that we won’t see until next week, or most likely the week after that for hour 3!!

Just make it 2 damn reunion episodes not 3 !!

Come on My-Boyfriend-Andy-Cohen! I can’t handle it anymore! I have too much other crap on Bravo for you to spoon feed me!!!

anyways, in case you forgot, because she hasn’t said it 97 times (per week , Vicki wants to make it clear that she is the “OG of the OC”. and she created the whole show. she is responsible for all of it. so respect her. basically everyone at bravo owes everything to her so bow down bitches!!!

oh vicki…. you can blab all you want, but you created nothing and all this does is point out that you are the oldest woman in all of the franchises. but bless your heart.

Tamra isn’t one to let a single episode air without being a complete and utter hypocrite.

my-boyfriend-andy-cohen reads an email from Alexis Bellino -aka “Jesus Juggs” and her thoughts on Tamra and her newfound Christianity.

ya know… cause the “former” tamra did things like this:

well, JJ wasn’t buying what Tamra was selling and shockingly doesn’t think she’s changed.

Tamra responds the same way pre-baptism Tamra would and says she’s “the kind of christian that gives christians a bad name!”

ohhhh. okay. I thought that was you, but I must have had a little too much ramona pinot grigio? I could have sworn that in relation to you finding God you said “anyone that doesn’t like it can suck it.” hmmmm…. if anyone is giving christians a bad name…..

whilst megan’s brunette hair gets a NAY NAY FLUFFY from this girl, it definitely is much better than the cotton candy pink she sported a few weeks ago.

maybe she hopes each time she has a new hair color her husband will start treating her like its a new relationship and do a 180. like, get a personality…. stop being a complete ass…. not yell at her in public like a bitchy 16 year old saying “YEAH I CAN! I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT”. that one moment alone at the “sex tape” party blew my mind. I just googled it so that I could put his direct quote in here because I could not believe I was seeing a grown ass man scold his wife in public and say these things :

“Don’t ever put me in that situation again. Don’t. I can do whatever I want. Yes, I can. Yes. Zip it. I don’t really give a f**k,

SERIOUSLY MEGAN. LEAVE HIM. RUN LIKE THE WIND.

I am super excited to see what nonsense that ass says when he sits on the couch during the reunion (I’ll probably have to wait for part 427)

and my-boyfriend-andy-cohen better not be all nice to him because he is a former st. louis cardinal and andy loves him or else I’ll be PEESEDDD.

There wasn’t a single moment of the Brooks Cancer talk for this part of the reunion (further proof that this whole first hour was BS ~~sorry I’m not sorry its true~~ because that is the only thing the ladies talked about for 99% of the season.) I am very much looking forward to Vicki defending/not defending/lying/having a couch freak out while talking about Brooks next week.

I have a feeling she’s going to pull a Ramoner when she gets grilled…

:: mazel of the week ::

vicki’s late mother.

the story of her keying that dude’s car and getting arrested and the whole shabang was PURE GOLD PEOPLE. highlight of part 1 hands down.

OUR WIFI HAS NOW GONE DOWN BLOODY GOSH DARN IT!

thats all I got….. adios.

as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.

#hypocrite #sorryimnotsorry

coffee talk, Lifestyle

:: coffee talk ::

October 15, 2015

discuss amongst ya-selves…….

:: billy on the street ::

this is one of my most favorite shows ever. I love him.

the celeb appearances are always great,
like chris pratt learning absolutely no one knows who he is

Billy On The Street: Chris Pratt Lightning Round! from Billy on the Street

:: RHONJ: Teresa Checks In ::

or they had some ‘tre’ nickname for the show or something in the intro, but whatever its tre in jail.

I don’t watch Jersey Housewives anymore and haven’t for awhile, but I like to watch the reunions and this was on when I didn’t have anything else so I thought, why not!

I reaaaallllly can’t stand Joe. I’m sure the feeling is mutual for all of you. My dislike for him continues…. it’s like he wants everyone to feel sorry for him? and for her, but seriously for him.

I kept thinking I would be pretty good at this prison life thing: Joe says she has email access all day spin class yoga class and she gets to watch all the bravo shows.

UMMMMMMM. why is a prison sentence sounding like a life better than most people get to live?

then she’s on the phone and she’s like “we watched a movie last night, magic mike “

whaaaat? that seems like a really stupid idea for a movie to play in a womens prison when they’re all locked up and isolated, but okay.

my favorite part of the whole episode was when the younger daughter – I don’t know, she’s not the baby baby one but she’s probably 7 or something, puts her finger in Joe’s wine and licks her finger, like she does it all the time. Joe doesn’t even flinch.

#parentoftheyear

but seriously, I hope these jail-time-ladies know who they are messing with.

:: bachelorette ::

ben z from the latest season of the bachelorette competed in a fitness competition and I just felt the need to share the photos of him shirtless with self tanner all over his face.

also, josh murray and his GF post andi dorfman have split.

you heard it here first!

always keeping you up to date with the most important news!

:: RHOOC ::

I seriously can’t stand Tamra. And I really can’t stand Tamra acting like she is holier than though whilst still egging on the brooks/vicki/cancer drama mere minutes after her ‘baptism’. she even tries to get Pastor Mike into the drama and is like YES YES Shannon and Vicki talk over your issues with Pastor Mike….. um…… no, and tamra quit stirring the pot, and OH by the way is PASTOR not PASTURE.

SHE MAKES ME INSANE PEOPLE.

Vicki’s brother Billy brings his girlfriend Ronda (you following me here?) and Ronda is ready for a throw down Ronda means business.

Ronda doesn’t care who she offends or what rules she breaks because Ronda’s wearing A BLACK CARDIGAN to the all white baptismal event. You show ’em Ronda. And she gets all up in Shannons business and throws some serious bitchy shade about her affair (which at this point no one knew about so Vicki def broke the girl code with that one.)

if i hear girl code said one more time on bravo ill lose my mind.

blah blah blah there is a ton of brooks cancer drama (seriously what will we talk about next season since her and brooks broke up? enough people!)

but seriously, vicki’s response to everything like the fake story about Terry having to send someone to give him and IV in the middle of the night and all that jazz…… she’s really not doing a good job covering/lying for him.

this episode (especially scene in the limo with tamra) it was like she didn’t even know what to say in response to what should be an obvious “yes that happened” or “no it didn’t”. she’s like “i don’t know I was out of town……”

the drinking game of the night should have been when they say “jesus” or “devil” or “satan”.

:: miley cyrus ::

just when you think she’s gone as far as she’ll go….. HELL NO you are wrong.

I’m just going to post the title of the article I saw on Us Weekly and leave it that.

Miley Cyrus to Perform in All Nude Concert

featuring a Naked Audience getting sprayed with “White Stuff”

ARE YOU %$#^*()&&^ KIDDING ME!?

:: ANTM ::

americas next top model is ending after 22 seasons.

my condolences go out to my mother, the only person who still watches this show.

d-listed perfectly summarized all we need to thank tyra for:

Farewell, ANTM, thank you for giving us the return of Janice Dickinson, Natasha’s truth talk, Nyle’s body, Rebecca’s fainting spell, Tyra’s ultra dramatic “We were all rooting for you!” monologue, the musical masterpiece “Shake Your Body,” a busted beard weave and of course the bi-racial butterfly Jade

:: the voice ::

um. not a good idea, adam levigne.

:: jackhole of the week ::

this is a clear winner

the aunt that sued her 8 year old nephew, now 12, for accidentally breaking her wrist when he excitedly hugged her.

as if it couldn’t be worse :

Sean, who was 8 at the time of the incident, appeared in court with his father, Michael Tarala, on Monday. His mother, Lisa, died last year. The injury has been a continued nuisance for the woman who claimed, “I was at a party recently, and it was difficult to hold my hors d’oeuvre plate.”

jackhole of the week is an understatement for that one.

as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.

#hypocrite #sorryimnotsorry

coffee talk, Lifestyle

:: coffee talk ::

October 8, 2015

discuss amongst ya-selves……..

oh my, my, MYYYY.

it sure has been awhile since we’ve gossiped ladies.

I am just barely getting caught up on everything. Don’t you just love September, when ~~the air cools and the leaves change colors~~ all of the new seasons of your fav shows premiere?

:: Life in pieces ::
UM. the best new show ever.
it follows the big bang theory, which as you know is the #1 show for kipper and I to watch together.
life in pieces does 4 short stories about an amazing dysfunctional family each week. think modern family but more inappropriate, and you’ll laugh SO hard, and great for those with ADD because each little part only lasts so long.

colin hanks and that girl that has been on so many sitcoms as a side character are HILARIOUS.
have any of you watched? because YOU NEED TO.

:: below deck ::
rocky is just killing it.
while I miss drunk Kat and her crazy antics,
with rocky’s INSANE personality you don’t even need her.

:: RHOBH ::
Ohhh my gawsh.
so there have been about 5 episodes at least since we discussed.
not much has changed, it’s still all about brooks and if he has cancer or not.
megan is certifiably insane for all of this sherlock homes crap she’s been doing calling doctors and asking about what scans they do. that being said, I LOVE IT because she’s getting the goods.
and she doesn’t give an EFF.

side note: I guess brooks is suing her now. she’s like zero effs given brooks go for it my rich zero personality horrible husband will maybe ignore me or help or something.

AND THENNNNN brooks presents brain-made-of-rocks-Tamra with a “document” from his “doctor” talking about his “cancer” that basically was liiiiiiiike

I MEAN. any ounce of belief that he had cancer has disappeared because no way in hell would any one in the medical field put out a document withabunchofwordsputtogeterwithnospacesbetweenthem

DID HE EVEN PROOFREAD THE DAMN THING AFTER HE TYPED IT?
what a dumbass! seriously!

and I CANT EVEN with Tamra getting baptized.
but I’ll save that for next week after we get to see all of it.

and bravo producers, we don’t need to know EVERYTHING, like minutes of air time about enema’s and footage of david washing his finger nails. enough. this season has gone to crap (no pun intended).

but seriously between brooks cancer drama and shannon + david’s marriage,
this season has just been a RULL BIG debbie downer.

:: RHOC continues into :: WWHL ::

Shannon and David then go and do a one on one with my-boyfriend-andy-cohen!!?!
WTF? Have you not had enough of airing this private matter in public!!??

I mean, it even starts with David answering the first question with “not to say too much about it because I’m hoping to put it behind us……”
(as I spit my water straight across the room)
NOT TO SAY TOO MUCH ABOUT IT?
ITS ALL IVE BEEN WATCHING ON MY TV FOR WEEKS!?
SERIOUSLY!? AM I INEBRIATED RIGHT NOW OR IS THIS FOR REAL?
I feel bad for both of them but when will TV be enough therapy to stop discussing it?!

and shockingly, there still ARE revelations that we don’t know about.
like the mistress befriending shannon and getting the scoop about her marriage every week at their daughters basketball practices in order to use it against her.
but the worst, David giving his wedding ring to their daughter one day at school pick up.

even my-boyfriend-andy-cohen is like WHAAAATTT??

he says, as only my-boyfriend-andy-cohen so eloquently can “In a galaxy of dick moves” giving the wedding ring to his daughter to give to shannon takes the cake.
every 2 minutes during the 23 minutes of watching this in agony I just kept saying out loud “OH MY GAWSH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS ONE ON ONE WHEN IS ENOUGH ENOUGH?!”
I really like shannon but GIRRRLLLL I just can’t anymore. I want Dr Moon to enema or crystalize or acupunture some damn sense into her!!!!

I want the old Shannon back!
The looney wonderful one that said such logical things like

side note : david just looks like the eyes wide open emoji
it’s all I see when I look at him

amiright?

:: peoples couch is back ::

I JUST MISSED THESE PEOPLE SO MUCH.

the old lady is on tinder and was talking about the cute guy that popped up driving a delorian

:: Kanye West ::

reason 9,167,308,301 why kanye west in the most obnoxious human on earth.

he now says the fashion industry discriminated against him for not being gay.

so much to comment on with kanyes comments always, but i just can’t.

instead I just can’t with this either.

this is americas first family? I’m sorry what?

:: Jackhole of the Week ::

97 claps for SNL being back.

but who does miley think she is?

this is CLEARLY gaga attire.

nay nay fluffy.

ok I think I was all over the place yet still barely covered nothing.

and I proofread nothing so sorry for crazy talk 🙂

sounds about right.

as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.

#hypocrite #sorryimnotsorry

coffee talk, Lifestyle

:: coffee talk ::

September 3, 2015

discuss amongst ya-selves……

things are a little busy around here and even though I want to spend the next two hours googling gifs and laughing my head off, I need to pass out for one last day at work.

so todays coffee talk is short little rants with no images.

bear with me 🙂

:: big brother ::

this is THE worst season in the history of BB.

I am seriously so done. All of them are awful.

I truly can’t look at austin and the twins anymore.

well, I am team Johnny Mac and James (and I guess Meg just because she is with James) but truly the only person that has done any game playing at all is James and Vanessa is just a lunatic.

they aren’t even talking game in the pantry!! they always used to run into the pantry and whisper and do the best plotting and backstabbing there! all of these players are little betches!

austin and the girls always act like ‘oh my god how could anyone bring up my name to nominate! I can’t believe someone is saying we are a threat! i hate them’

ITS A GAME. ONLY ONE PERSON WINS THAT IS THE POINT!

AND YOU MORONS WITH NO BRAIN CELLS ARE SOMEHOW RUNNING THE JOINT!?

vanessa, we need to chat.

whatever zinc based zit cream you keep using is making me wonder if you have a mirror.

im all for zit cream as a necessity and she is taped 24 hours a day but this is different.

WE CAN SEE IT. she puts all this make up on over it and has white spots all over her face or does a full on white face (picture the opposite of a girl putting bronzer all over her face and then the rest of her body is white…. it is so confusing) and then walks around all day and goes in the confessional. she has FULL eye and face makeup so somehow she thinks we don’t see it??? please producers, someone tell her that everyone in america is staring at her zit cream all night and to save it for bedtime or BLEND IT IN and then put your make up on!

okay…. enough with that rant on vanessa…..

but then you yell at James for saying you are playing the game? I’m sorry am I missing something?

James : “am I supposed to say you aren’t playing the game?”

oh my gosh bitches really are crazy. thats all I could think watching this exchange. he must be like “seriously…. women are nuts…. what did I even say?? what is happening?”

I’M SO SICK OF HER CRYING AND MENTAL INSTANITY.

#teamjames, but really I can’t stand anyone else this is the worst season in BB history (have I said that enough yet?)

:: RHOC ::

this sex party is creeping me out.

9 million zillion things wrong with this. so nasty and disgusting.

i. can’t. stand. jim edmonds.

seriously who would marry this man?!

oh, and I’m sorry Tamra, I think you have amnesia.

you make a “fake” sex tape of you and eddie stretching and say “people think we would really make a sex tape?!”

UMMMMM you basically did the first season eddie was on the show with you when they showed you getting it on in the hot tub and I am so mad they replayed clips of it this week because it had taken years to get those images out of my mind. and to get the image of eddie with his awful mouth in edge-to-edge occlusion making sexual commentary. I just can’t.

also, just can’t with shannon. no more discussing your marriage. either make it work or walk the hell away. reality tv is not therapy and will not help in ANY way. and I like shannon so much, just, ughhhh MY GAWD stop talking about it to the world (the world being the millions of pathetic people like me who watch this show and discuss it :D)

:: bachelor in paradise ::

this show is so ridiculous, but the finale does look amazing.

I will be downloading it for the flight home, don’t you worry

(along with 9 other hours of television I’ll be missing while I’m gone. tear rolls down cheek.)

somehow Jaclyn, the drunk who has been on way too many seasons of bachelor shows and spinoffs has the most poignant things to say.

she really needs some help with her hair cut and color, but she is spot on with her commentary.

1. dont trust a 25 year old girl with a belly button ring.

2. this season is basically just all of kaitlyn’s rejects.

3. is there anyone here that isn’t an unemployed personal trainer, and additionally and unenemployed personal trainer who is a single father?

PAH – REACH. JACLYN.

I guess sometimes its really the ones who drink their brains out that somehow have the most brain cells on these shows. remember her and ed just getting annihilated drunk every day on bachelor pad?

oh, and I’m sorry, one last comment.

Jared doesn’t even have enough balls

(I wanted to be a lady and say “cahonies” but I can’t figure out how to actually spell it???)

this gif required no googling so it stays.

so he doesn’t have enough balls to break up with Ashley I 97 times when he clearly has ZERO interest in her; quit acting like he is going to sleep with her and “take her viriginity”.

THIS SHOW IS SO STUPID WHY DO I WASTE MY TIME?

some links for some gossip since I don’t have a ton :

the center of arguably the most dramatic real housewives fight ever, danielle stab, the original PROSTITUTION WHORE is engaged to a navy seal. come again? (link)
obnoxious Brandi comments on Kims sobriety, Yolandas health, and Kristin’s husband on Ashley Madison (link)
if you have been reading for longer than 4 weeks, you know I LOVE me some old lady reality tv DANCING WITH THE STARS. love. obsessed. love. the new cast announced and I can’t waittttt! (link)
apparently there is all sorts of drama surround T Swift’s new music video, but I loved it and love anything involving locking lips with Scott Eastwood (link)
when can I start streaming all episodes of Celebrity Big Brother in England, because Janice Dickenson alone is enough to make me want to watch (link)
I meannnn I know Janet Jackson can where whatever the hell she wants, but WTF are these pants girl (link)

:: mazel of the week ::

betches love this did an incredible post about beauty lessons to be learned from the ladies of bachelor in paradise. go read it here and thank me later.

(use the little arrow thingy to go from girl to scroll- that helpful tip is for you nance pants, because I can already tell by looking at the webpage that you will try to scroll and not see the little arrow to go to the next girl. not judging. they need to make those little pink arrows bigger)

as always, ignore my own blatant grammatical errors whilst I make fun of others poor grammar during coffee talk on a weekly basis.

#hypocrite #sorryimnotsorry

coffee talk, Lifestyle

:: coffee talk ::

August 27, 2015

discuss amongst ya-selves……

:: BACHELOR IN PARADISE ::

the amount of crabs at this place is terrifying

I would not sleep at night. they are EVERYWHERE.

I’ve been meaning to say this since week one and just had to share.

do you think the producers are trying to give us subliminal messages that all of the eligible bachelors and bachelorettes have crabs or will soon have it from sleeping around in mexico?

I’m thinking this is definitely what it is….. crabs for everyone!!!!

jorge the bartender is STILL the best option there.

someone really needs to knock some sense into julia. she is such a sweetheart….. and there is just nothing going on upstairs.

first joe, then mikey? whaaaaaaat? does she have daddy issues or something? why do these people keep talking about marriage after a drunken tequila date in mexico? especially marriage to unemployed morons? you’re better than them julia just go home!!!!

sam and joe. my god. I discussed them in Tuesday’s post so we will leave it at that but karma is a bitch and so are both of you.

oh, actually, one more thought. I have never understood when people talk about direct messages on instagram – where does this exist? what?

OH and one more thought, Joe getting dumped on his birthday when he threw himself a birthday date was WONDERFUL.

OH and ONE MORE final thought.

can we PUH-LEASE just start doing rose ceremonies at the end and have normal episodes instead of all of this dragged out BS?????

MY GAWD.

:: BELOW DECK ::

below deck is back! I love this show. between the crew and the new charter guests every week you can’t go wrong.

the commercials previewing the new season were KILLING me.

“He’s Captain Lee” (background : captain lee captain lee…..) “He’s the stud of the sea”…. blah blah BLAH.

ummmm producers. captain lee is the least sexy human being you could possibly choose. he makes me want to vomit in my mouth. I’m pretty sure all women are more attracted to a lamp post than him, and the new insane diver/chef chick on the show confirmed it when she said at least she doesn’t have to worry about any sexual tension with the captain.

he seriously makes my skin crawl for some reason.

kate is such a bitch but for some reason I really love her.

when she compared everyone to their font last season it was a done deal.

I’m sorry, but she was spot on and it was genius.

and I love a good bitchy resting face.

:: RHOC ::

okay, my dislike for Jim Edmonds, husband of Meghan King Edmonds, has been 100% solidified.

the housewives go to a Nascar race to kick of this weeks episode, and on 4 separate occasions they show the group introducing themselves to racecar people.

(I feel like the producers must have thought exactly what I am thinking otherwise they suck at editing, because why else would they show us introductions 90 times?)

Everyone says their first name, like Hi I’m Megan I’m Heather I’m Terry.

Jimmmmmy, every time says,

“Jim……Edmonds.”

like, he wasn’t saying Jim Edmonds (one complete word-sentence JimEdmonds). that, I would still be annoyed with, but we could maybe act like whatever he’s just saying his whole name.

BUT NO.

every time it was “Jim…….(pause long enough)…. Edmonds.”

GOOD GOD GET OVER YOURSELF NO ONE CARES AND IM SURE THE NASCAR PEOPLE HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE.

you may think I’m reading too much into this or over exaggerating, but TRUST. I am not.

Meghan King Edmonds didn’t want my dislike to only be awarded to her husband, so she had to give us something. so on to Meghan King Edmonds……

Okay, you are 30, not 15. How do you not know who Heather Lochlear is? Come on. #judging.

and I’m not saying you need to know what band Tommy Lee was in, because who cares, but how can you act like you have no idea who he is? It was the sex tape scandal hear round the world lady?!?

Ugh Meghan King Edmonds you give 30 year olds a bad rap.

Thank Gawd I’m still barely in my twenties.

I can’t even discuss Shannon’s birthday dinner at the rock and roll bar.

Painful. Every week. I just can’t.

however, yes, David is a freaking moron for that being what he planned for you birthday. but LOCK IT UP in front of your kids.

Heathers Home Construction House Tour.

apparently there are several things I can’t even discuss this week.

Heathers facial expressions, or complete lack-thereof and just giant open eyes no facial movement whatsoever, during the fight between Vicki and Meghan King Edmonds is my greatest plastic surgery fear ever.

:: MY FAB 40TH ::

I’m watching as I type up this post and I’m just like….. ohhhhh my.
like most trash tv, it’s so bad that it’s somehow good.

perhaps the most shocking part of the episode.

the one birthday girl saying she can’t imagine what her friend, the other birthday girl, has gone through since her daughter was born with a serious heart condition.

but the way she says it is

“like Soleil being born with an un-googleable heart defect.”

she was being sincere, but it was hilarious that it seemed like she was crying over something being un-googleable.

and I cant even look at this party planner.

:: RHONY Reunion Part II ::

Ramona says car-thotic again. Twice.

Someone tell this woman its cathartic.

but other then that, I don’t even care about the reunion, I cannot believe (but can) that Kristin’s awful husband was on Ashley Madison.
He is such scum. SCUMMMMM.