The Sarcastic Blonde

fashion, food, fitness + a dose of sarcastic gossip

friday randoms, Lifestyle

:: tuesday things ::

some random things for the day! 


:: one :: 
by far the #1 pick for christmas gifts for everyone.
it will be on my holiday gift guides over and over.
the perfect gift for health nuts and hikers and winos alike! 

they also have a corkcicle thermos which would be the best replacement for my water bottle at work.
if you’re reading this, merry christmas.  kip and I will likely be gifting you this. 
and kip, I will be gifting myself the thermos. mmmmk thanks. 
get em while they’re hot, they’re going like hotcakes!! 

:: two :: 
Did you see WWHL with Vivica Fox throwing out accusations of 50 Cent being gay?!
I meeannnnnnnnnn I was like WHAAAATTTTT is this girl thinking! 
My Boyfriend Andy Cohen’s eyes were about to pop out of his head he couldn’t believe the “tea and shade” and bombshells being dropped! 
a twitter/instagram war has since ensued….. yikes….. 
see more/read all about it here

:: three ::
we live in an amazing area of Chicago that is the perfect mix of the city, but having the amazing young family feel.  everyone jokes that it’s puppy or stroller required to live here.  when we bought our place, I said there was no way I was moving out of the apartment I had been in for 5 years unless it was to somewhere still in this neighborhood, and luckily we found our current place one block away.  
the last two weeks, bad things have been happening.  cars being broken into, cars being stolen, people being robbed.  one of my best friends that lives up the street witnessed two of the thefts from her porch and called the police. it’s just been REALLY messing with me.  I know we live in a city and bad stuff happens all the time, but there were a few days in a row with things happening, with one happening in the same spot we were just two or three hours prior as we walked home from our friends place.  
there’s no point in this really, but it sucks that in this amazing place we live, I am fearful to be walking alone at night.   there has been tons of communication with the police and everything, so hopefully it will all get better soon.  and luckily my mother nance-pants raised me to be paranoid as a lunatic,  so this southern girl has got plenty of city spunk in her. and eyeballs in every direction with keys at the ready! 
sorry for the F bomb, every single good one had it spelled out.
what is the world coming to that they can’t just put $^@( or F

:: four :: 
I had nothing to watch Sunday, because I put a serious dent in my DVR Friday night when I stayed in, so I perused my pal Netflix.  I had never seen Fat Sick and Nearly Dead, the documentary about juicing and health and wellness. 

 I don’t like to watch any of the Food related documentaries, because yes it may be ignorant, but I prefer NOT to know everything about the food I am eating.  I will always want to eat things that are bad for me every weekend on occasion.  What can I say, ignorance is bliss! 
But this documentary was so, so good. (I know I’m way behind this was released years and years ago).  I cried for the man that did the cleanse with Joe at the end.  It really was inspiring.
That being said, I will never be able to do what they did, and have no desire to.  Like, when did chewing become a crime? 

I DO however feel like drinking a big green juice in the morning would be something I would love to incorporate.  It looks like A LOT of work to get one darn glass of green juice though! Do any of you juice? Thoughts or tips?  

:: five :: 
every year, I get excited for the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.
I don’t know why, but I love it. 
They are filming it this week, and then I think it usually airs the first week of December.
They released Videos of what it takes to make it through the auditions to be an Angel and the making of the show and all that jazz. 
for those interested, check the videos out on youtube! 

and Gigi Hadid is in the show this year so theres a full housewife connection! 
I can just hear her now from that scene at her party at Mohammed’s house when she goes to eat some of her cake… “Just one small bite.  One bite.”

or when she was cleansing and felt faint and Yolanda said “perhaps a few bites of celery….”




by  
friday randoms, Lifestyle

:: weekend things ::


This months RocksBox is my favorite yet! This gold bangle goes perfectly with my everyday gold bracelet, the color of these emerald green earrings is gorgeous.   And the statement necklace speaks for itself.  
use code tayloroshayxoxo for your first month free!! 

 :: BED QUESTIONS :: 

I’ve gotten a couple of questions about our mattress from my post earlier this week.
Our mattress from Tuft and Needle is heavenly.  The delivery of it wrapped up makes it so much easier to haul upstairs, and it is the perfect combination of firm and soft!  Kip and I have always differed in liking a mattress harder or softer but somehow we both think this one is perfect. 


Also, the headboard from One Kings Lane is beautiful.  It shipped two weeks faster than the expected arrival date they gave us when we ordered, and it looks just as pictured on the website.   They have so many wonderful options with almost all at 50% off.  


:: CORRIDOR BREWERY :: 
Thursday night we tried the new restaurant/brewery that opened, Corridor Brewery.
We only had a few appetizers and drinks before heading out, but everything was delicious and the service was exceptional.  Especially for opening night, I was blown away by the service and how quickly the food came out. 
The buffalo cauliflower bites (seen below) and their flatbread pizzas were so delicious! 




:: GAP FALL SALE :: 
GAP is currently offering up to 50% off fall items! 
:: sweater dress ::  
also love this striped shift dress

:: windowpane boyfriend shirt :: 

:: animal print sweatshirt :: 
also love this tunic sweater 

:: zipped ribbed tunic :: 


by  
friday randoms, Lifestyle

:: friday randoms ::

:: friday randoms :: 

our sweet pumpkin from kips family
today is kippers birthday.
I got him the greatest gift in the entire world.
i made a few calls….. pulled a few strings…..and made it happen.
the ability to eat mcdonalds breakfast ALL. DAY. ANY. DAY.
HASHTAG ALL DAY BREAKFAST. 
he owes me.  big time.
(slash this would be an example, if I actually had “gifted” this, of one of those gifts you buy your significant other but really its for yourself. you know what I’m talking about….. we’ve all done it or been on the receiving end of that one).

my old navy tunic tops arrived while we were in Italy and I am obsessed.
they are thin and super soft, the perfect length, and an amazing layering piece. 
// tunic tops // 

ordering all three colors sounds excessive, 
but when you get them for $8 a piece, it’s just smart. 

confession: I really don’t like anything pumpkin.  at all.
I don’t drink coffee, so no pumpkin spiced latte’s for me. I don’t like pumpkin flavored cheesecakes or bars or cereal or blah-de-blah-blah.  
does this make me less of basic betch? 
I can’t tell if thats a good thing or bad thing. 


my favorite fall item has been this treasure and bond sweater that I got way back during the Nordstrom pre-fall sale. 
I don’t know I even bother cropping out the destroyed guest room but today I felt like pretending it didn’t look like a bomb went off in there. 
they don’t have it online anymore but they have great flannels and I love this striped sweater of theirs

the gigi new york friends and family sale is here! 

I have their all in one clutch

but I’ve always lusted after the carly convertible clutch and the madison crossbody
beautiful leather purses that can all come with monograms?
yes please. 
but for those on an even tighter budget, the copy cat below is under $25! 

and some friday inspiration I saw on pinterest 



hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!! 



by  
friday randoms, Lifestyle

:: tuesday thoughts ::

random thoughts for tuesday…….
:: one :: nail salon television ::



sooooo the TV programs at the two nail salons I go to have been driving me insane.  I don’t get my nails done nearly as often as I should, and I’ve decided that perhaps this is why. 
THE WORST shows you could possibly play are always on.  It’ll be, like, a random channel like ion that plays nothing but murder-rape-dramas with awful acting or scary movies.  huh? and not like, a law and order which I guess I could handle, but still wouldn’t want to see getting my nails done; rather it’s a very detailed scary stalker/murder things. 
what?
the other place I go to occasionally has NETFLIX ! NETFLIX ! I got so excited! 
except oh wait….. no.  they clearly don’t understand what people watch on netflix because somehow they find awful movies I’ve never heard of or films with subtitles. 
YOU’RE KILLING ME PEOPLE.  you are sitting on a goldmine with netlfix – play Friends all day everyday and every woman in that place would love it.  your customer base would triple I guarantee it.  
theres a nail place here in chicago that only plays sex and the city…. I’m not saying thats the only way to go ….. but apparently they figured something out that no one else did: play something, ANYTHING, that women like to watch. 
at least do some HGTV or something like the place my mom and sister go to back home in Atlanta.  House Hunters marathon during a nail appointment is phenomenal. 


:: two :: bachelor in paradise ‘textgate’ :: 
to summarize 42 paragraphs worth of thoughts about this weeks episode(s)
samantha seriously is so gorgeous I can’t stand it.


but samantha is seriously such a moron and such a betch who thinks she isn’t coming off as a betch that its hilarious.  
samantha and joe are equally horrible. but joes resting bitchy face, horribly mean comments, vengeful spiteful attitude, and complete and utter lack of any intelligence are FAR more entertaining to watch than samantha’s pretty face, so I guess I’m team joe somehow?   

:: three :: fedora search is complete ::
my sad and pathetic never ending search for a fedora is finally complete.
just scroll to the next point …. or the next post because this is how pointless todays thoughts are. 
every single one was way too big.  I think my head is normal sized (??) but really I think they just keep making the brim on these hats way too big (nordstrom, jcrew, madewell were all misses).  They looked horrible. 
Target to the rescue! The fedora below is the perfect size and tiny and cute! 
and best of all it is the least delicate of any one I tried (the j.crew one was so delicate I would have ruined it in an hour) and it holds its shape perfectly so packing it should be easy. 
:: target fedora ::


:: four :: style and herpes :: 
I saw this quote on instagram……. 



and I immediately thought of the NYC Housewives reunion outfits (that you all agreed were HORRIFYING)
and all I thought was “so true.  and I think some of these ladies are lacking the style but having the Herp.”


:: five :: exciting TV on Bravo tonight ::
Below Deck is back with the best resting bitch face character there ever has been, Kate.

sadly, the crazy drunk I love is not back this season. 



ANNNNNND its the season premiere of My Fab 40th.
so set  those DVR’s ladies!! 


by  
friday randoms, Lifestyle

:: tuesday things ::

:: random tuesday things ::
  
:: soulcycle:: 
I’m attending my first soul cycle class this weekend. (and likely only because unless they lose weight and do the workout FOR me, nothing is worth that kinda $$$$). 
I am so nervous I feel like I am going to pee my pants….. or just sweat even more in class and have like…. serious @$$ sweat when I got off my bike in addition to not being able to walk because spinning ruins your lady bits and I’ve never been able to walk right EVER when leaving a spin class. TMI? 
I found this gif and other than channeling my inner Unicorn on Odd Mom Out, this will be my motivation whilst riding : 
I meannnnnnn I am dying laughing right now. 
This is my new workout mantra. 

:: sally hansen miracle gel ::

have any of you tried the sally hansen miracle gel polish? 
after I read this article I feel like I MUST get my hands on it.
my nails become paper thin after a no-chip, so I barely do them at all anymore.
this sounds like the perfect solution!! 

:: the parent trap ::
I watched The Parent Trap on Sunday when it was airing on TV and I knew I loved it but I forgot just how much.  I think it was the first time seeing it in its entirety in years and years.  SO amazing.  Even Kip “watched” it (didn’t make me change the channel and looked at the TV a good bit….. I think he was really feeling it…. it made me judge him less for the “what movie is this” comment he made at the beginning.)

:: rocksbox :: 
princess jasmine kim kardashian on Bachelor in Paradise and I have more in common than I thought! 
in last nights episode, whilst she was crying her 18th pound of tears, I realized she was wearing the Kendra Scott earrings I had in my last Rocksbox box.  
I loved them.  They surprisingly could be worn daily with basic outfits, even for a simple gold stud only in daytime person like me. 

nordstrom sells them in so many color options! 

my favorite in this months box is these perry street earrings. 
as always, you can use code tayloroshayxoxo for your first Rocksbox month free! and it’s only $19 a month after that. 

:: dr scholl’s for her insoles :: 
I got these this past week and I can’t get over how amazing they are.
I don’t know why I waited this long to try these! 
best part : you can get a set of 3 for $10 ! 






…..and now, lots of food commentary 🙂 







:: overnight oats :: 



I initially tried this make-ahead breakfast and was not a fan.



I have eaten yogurt with granola for breakfast for years, and I missed my yogurt and missed my granola.  the just the oats with the almond milk was so blah. 



Then I decided to combine the oats with my yogurt and now I make it at night for the next morning a few times per week. 


image


lately I just do the following : 


1/2 cup gluten free rolled oats


1/2 cup almond milk


blueberry greek yogurt (I use one of the chobani pre-portioned cups) 


mix it all together and it will soften the oats and be ready in the morning. 


…. top with any fresh fruit if you have it 






It keeps me fuller longer than my yogurt + granola, and its healthier since it’s just the gluten free oats and not all of the other ingredients.  I’m trying to be healthy this month because I know in September I’ll happily pack on some pounds in Italy 🙂 






:: bear naked granola and kind granola :: 



I also switched my granola up.



I was always eating the Trader Joe’s brand but a friend pointed out how much healthier and actually tastier these brands are than the processed granola. 



I love, love these and it was an easy switch because they taste better so why not. 


bear naked honey almond granola  //  kind healthy grains blueberry granola






:: simply dressed dressing ::





their balsamic dressing is the best balsamic ever.  


kip and I love it, and jewel is always out of stock. 


then we discovered their avocado ranch and we are obsessed.


they haven’t had it at the store the last couple visits, so when I went this weekend and they had it, I took 4 bottles.  sorry….. I had to.  but seriously, its so good that we needed 4 bottles stocked in the fridge.  it’s HEAVEN. 





:: pioneer woman lasagna ::


kip’s family was down on Sunday and I made Pioneer Woman’s Lasagna.


in my opinion it really is the best lasagna recipe ever. 


if you haven’t made it before, it is a MUST.  






soooooo now that you know the world’s greatest salad dressing,


BE LIKE A DRUNK GIRL GETTING OUT OF A CAB AND LEAVE EVERYTHING BEHIND! 







by  
friday randoms, Lifestyle

:: tuesday things ::

random thoughts for tuesday…… 
  
:: one :: 
I can’t believe I didn’t realize that Wet Hot American Summer First Day At Camp was released on Netflix! 

I am so excited to marathon the hell out of this. 
I know how I will be spending my weekend this weekend….. 

:: two :: 
Hide your kids, Hide your wife, because this is the summer of NO ONES marriage making it.  
gwen stefani and gavin rossdale are divorcing, but the real heartbreaker most recently is Reba and her husband of 26 years have split. (via)  
ahhhh! who is next!?  it’s like every day its someone else. 
although, apparently john mayer and katy perry are back together and I’m just like ENOUGH ALREADY you two.  

:: three :: 
I’ve gone full on crazy pants with today marking 30 DAYS until Italy! 
The packing planning is ON, and I can’t help but wonder how people like the fashion bloggers travel to all of these places and have SO MUCH cute stuff and SO MANY outfits.  Like, who is carrying all of your luggage? I follow Julia of Gal Meets Glam on snapchat, and for her vacations that are never-ending, its as if a pair of shoes isn’t even worn twice and every outfit is perfection. yes I realize that is her career, but still, its amazing. 

I realize that “checking a bag” is probably top of the list for how this is accomplished, but we are petty commoners and I’ll be damned if I have to pay for luggage being checked, lose said luggage, and then have to be in charge of lugging said luggage from city to city in Italy.  This is reason # 5,782 why winning the lottery is just necessary in life. 
so basically what I’m saying is that all of our trip pictures will look exactly like the images above. preach. 

:: four :: 
the smoke detector in our hallway is beeping as I write this.
it is like full on phoebe in friends happening over here right now.


i am gonna lose ma mind. 

and my husband is glued to watching The Walking Dead and doesn’t even notice it. 
I don’t know who I married because he has been watching so much television the last week or so.  He blew through Bloodline and now he is hooked on Walking Dead.  I keep telling him that watching TV like that isn’t good for you, he should spend more time outdoors, read a book, etc, but I know it’s hard for him to live up to my active, outdoorsy, well-rounded lifestyle. 



:: five :: 
I know 3% of you watch Big Brother (and you are my favorite 3%)
but Kipper is completely hooked so miracles can happen and if he can love it anyone can. 
James winning HOH and putting Shelli and Clay up was AMAZING and I can’t wait to watch her bitch some more on Wednesdays episode about how she CANT BELIEVE they are nominated.  She is such a cougar hypocrite; its a competition and its your time to be nominated and likely get sent home.  Bye Felicia.   







by  

Shop My latest Instagrams 

Click the photo to shop and follow along @thesarcasticblonde

 


© COPYRIGHT The Sarcastic Blonde 2011-2018. PRIVACY POLICY.
Theme development by Georgia Lou Studios.
DESIGN BY M. ELLE CREATIVE.